I have recently set myself a goal to do a 30-day video challenge about manifesting and the progress that I can make. This was to help with my goals, and as a self- reflection tool, but above all to help conquer a major fear:
Even writing it makes my legs go weak and my stomach does more back flips than a gymnast. My goals were to run workshops (clearly not in motivational speaking) to help others develop their own Intuition and psychic gifts. Unless I don a SIA wig and hide behind a screen, there is no way I could do this without having to stand in front of at least two people at a time. I mean, I have left jobs and called in sick to get out of having to speak among people I already know. It’s totally irrational and seriously embarrassing. Turns out, after scratching the metaphoric surface of the problem, I unintentionally dug to China. The snowball effect to creating and challenging myself has been a fork in the road to a new path of self-discovery. I have encountered so much more than I could have anticipated.
First off, the public speaking- This is and has got to be my most debilitating fear and discomfort. I can be extremely confident in the choices that I make for my family and consciously encourage my family members to push themselves and challenge their thoughts and dreams... to myself on the other hand, not so supportive. The video challenge has opened up Pandora’s box of mysteries and hidden defensives I would have preferred buried under a mountain of washing. So what is it exactly, that makes me feel so uncomfortable and nervous about talking in front of a group of people?
Do I feel judged?
Do I feel like I am an amateur?
Do I not like the sound of my voice? (this is one for sure!)
Am I afraid I don’t have all the answers, or am I afraid I will be challenged on my beliefs?
From this list, I have had to step back and take a look at my worries and notice that all of these points have not only be stunting me professionally, but personally.
So, it has led me to the next challenge…
Healing these emotions of self-doubt and inner judgement. What happens in these scenarios all leads to the same thing: my ability to run and hide until further notice? This is not something I would advocate, encourage or advise. So, in order to be able to reach my highest potential I need to find a way to make peace.
**Cue dreams, intuition and imagination**
All of the niggling thoughts and ideas we have is our soul trying to give us a glimpse into our future and potential success in all senses. My head kicks in and becomes the negative and driving force. My own head can tell me what I am capable of, and what is possible. Talk about a total disconnect!
How do I change this mindset? How do you change that safe and risk-managing head space, to make way for the innocence of your child like imagination? Remember when you believed anything was possible? If it is truly mind over matter, why is my brain such an asshole? It took a few weeks of soul searching, inner turmoil and every emotion from pride, to worry, to a swift head slap. The answer seems so simple, but it challenges everyone, every minute of every day. It lead me to soul submission. Delegate your belief and control and simply…. trust.
Trust yourself and that if you can think it, on all levels, those dreams are possible. Trust that even if it doesn’t work out or the way you had originally thought, there is still an end result waiting for you, but you haven’t imagined it yet. The universe will lead you on a path to connect you best with yourself and your desired end result. It doesn’t care if that you feel uncomfortable or nervous, it will thrust you into that path. It is telling you to, “Get the hell over that fear and self-doubt!”
Think of the universe as the supportive parental figure. It’s always in the background supporting and encouraging you. It gives you that push into situations that make you uncomfortable for the potential you can’t see in yourself. It stands back on the side lines keeping you in check morally and spirituality, but helps you back up when you fall. It won’t jump in to stop you falling; it allows you to learn the lessons. The universe is always there to tell you, “Dream the biggest dream, anything is possible when you put your mind to it”. It sees your capabilities that you can’t see yourself and last, but not least, it rewards you when you are grateful, respectful and proud of your achievements.
So, put your trust into the universe and into yourself!
You got this!
To really be able to move forward with any goal or any dream, you need to heal the past. If not, you will repeat the same mistakes, meet the same people or keep stumbling along the path of similarity. Say: “Yes!” Go for it! The universe is always there to pick you up, so learn the lesson and get back into your life with all your hope that the next time is your time… This is still a head game for me, and I'm trying to take a day each day at a time, but trust me when I say… It’s really working.