I am a mother of two but I am also a woman, a daughter and a friend-… I love my life, my family and my friends, but I do strive to create a new reality for myself and my family. It has been the most rewarding and challenging experience of my life. If it wasn’t for my family I believe my path to spiritual awareness would have taken a few different turns and lessons. Not to say they wouldn’t have been valid, but I feel the lessons are correct for the journey that I am on. Everyday living is filled with some intensive experiences; some amazing, some not so great, but it has all lead me to where I need to go. Balance seems to be the action everyone is attempting to implement. Trying to keep my little people nourished and happy in every sense, while still giving my partner, relatives, friends, career, and not to mention myself (!), seems an insane pledge.
I was in the position where I even needed to split my thoughts…
OOOhhmm…. mediate, appreciate and motivate--- S***t! I forgot to buy milk at the shop…. OOhhmmm I am a temple, I am str…Its library day tomorrow, swimming lessons in the morning. OOohmm ooh-Yawn hmmm.
My time was taken up by bodily functions that weren’t mine and refereeing fights I wasn’t a part of. Meditating was counting backward from five, while I enjoyed my laundry basket being empty for five seconds.
I always knew that I was spiritual and knew it was a great practice for me to find my inner being. Making radical changes or at the least, changing my family dynamic, seemed slightly overwhelming. I always filed the ideas in the “When the kids are older” file. There is so much out there to read, buy and learn, it seemed overwhelming to navigate through all the information to achieve my own wholeness. This post is about how I have begun to make small changes in my life to help appreciate finding balance from a Mind, Body and Soul level.
See yourself through others eyes
You may feel like you have a lot to handle, you may feel slightly over your head with your everyday life, but there is always someone out there that views you as an inspiration. You may feel guilty that you don’t work; the house isn’t immaculate or you need to spend more time with friends. There will be someone close to you who aspires to have your fun/intelligence/attitude. While you are busy looking at someone else thinking they have it all together, someone else is looking back at you in awe.
I have a friend who is seems to have it all, she works full time, her two kids are amazing, and she has a lovely home. She really inspires me with her drive and passion to succeed. But she says back to me frequently, “I love your spontaneity and ability to just go with the flow”. Similarly, I have a friend who is a stay at home mum who does the most amazing job in all aspects of her life. She is the epitome of being a dream parent; she makes me evaluate everything I do from the mothering point of view. She says to me she admires my calming energy and ability to make time for everyone and really listen. So, while I was so busy looking at them and admiring, they were admiring right back.
Appreciate the moments
It is so annoying when things don’t go your way, however there are also millions of our choices in a day that do. What time you wake up, what you have for breakfast, your kids busily getting ready for school, partners making you a coffee without being prompted and your animals waiting patiently for you to give them a cuddle. It may not be lightning bolt amazing moments but your whole day could change by 9am just by changing how you look at your life. You will have your dreams and manifestation come into fruition just being appreciative and grateful and open to all the abundance of good that is around you.
Take the time to say something genuine to those people around- from the “I love you” to family, to a thank you hand gesture to the person letting you merge into traffic, or the customer service rep who gave you good service in your local shop. Everyone loves a genuine, kind compliment. Tell that lady across the room she has lovely earrings, or the mum juggling a pram, two kids and shopping how amazing she is. Be genuine with people- it costs nothing, but returns so much.
See the Humour
Situations in everyday life can be difficult, but I always turn to humour (mostly sarcasm) when things seem stressful. It is always good to emotionally take a step out of it and really look at what’s going on. I promise you if you looked at as if it was a reality TV show, the stress from everyday living can be quite funny. Whether you have done something stupid, someone else has, or the whole situation is funny, laugh about it- even if it’s to cover up the stress.
My son was riding his bike, and my boy is the next Evil Knievel. I was nagging, chasing and yelling for him to get his helmet on; worried and nervous about him hurting his head or cracking it open. So he finally ran over to grab it, threw it in the air, and it bounced straight off his head. After wiping up the tears and checking for blood, I had such a laugh at the irony. Obviously not in front of him; you couldn’t script humour like that.
Be your own Inspirational Message
I don’t know about you, but my Facebook feed is flooded with inspirational messages. Sometimes I am so inundated that I simply have to keep scrolling, but when you find one that speaks to you, really embrace it. It can really make you aware or comfort you when times get tough or stressful.
I was having a bad day and feeling nervous about a choice I had made that would change my families’ future considerably. I had this quote pop up – “Don’t look back, You’re not going that way.” It was perfect timing and so true, I started to repeat it to others. Although sometimes they can be corny or seem unattainable, living by the messages you read and spark some truth to you can be a sure-fire way to gradually shifting your perception.
If you are finding yourself in a situation at home, at work or with family that is making you scowl, it may be time to take a look at your own actions. Are you being kind? Are you being genuine? Are you showing empathy? I you're feeling frustrated in yourself and your own choices, it very well could be reflecting on how you are perceiving your peers. Being kind to others doesn’t mean breaking your own boundaries or putting yourself in a position to be hurt, it's simply acting out of kindness and empathy. This will not only help to defuse a situation, but others will aspire to follow your example.
I used to have a friend that seemed to go out a lot; she was in the same circumstance as me with a family and worked full time. I was however, secretly judging her on her mothering, her selfishness and her priorities (not my finest hour). When I really stepped outside of my initial judgement, I decided that I was being unkind and this was indeed someone I considered a friend. After having empathy, and trying to understand her situation, I realised that I actually needed to be kinder to myself. I acknowledged my jealousy and my need for some time for myself. I was being outwardly horrible, and that was not showing kindness to her or my own needs. After I got some much needed alone time to rejuvenate, her where-abouts didn’t bother me, nor what she did. Being kind should always go full circle.
Nothing can help you appreciate and enjoy yourself more than being outside. Appreciate the wonders of nature, the sunshine and the space. Besides all the backed up scientific evidence to prove the benefits of getting outside, the space really gives you a perspective on the significance of the issue you are having. Go outside for a tea or coffee, have lunch or dinner outside, or even put some music on and dance around the garden like a pixie. You will feel the benefits almost instantly. Connecting with nature will help you feel grounded and centred, assisting you to move forward with your plans clearly.
So, I challenge you to try and change your outlook to help manifest your dreams and desires into a reality. Pick one or all of the points above for a week, envision yourself growing and changing to create some of the best memories and experiences that you could ever have. Be the stronger and more empowered YOU! Have the courage to face all the tears, tantrums and uncomfortable situations life and children throw at you.
Smile, it looks gorgeous on you!