As I decide to nap around 11:30 am or so, the sun is streaming in behind the curtains that gently sway by movement of the fan.
I do not sleep much at night, and at times I am grateful for that. The quiet hum of white noise should lull me away on the wings of dreams, yet it does not. As I lay here I begin to consider guilt. It's now near noon and here I lay, cocooned in blankets during the height of the sun. I start to hear a familiar tune in my head, as I so often do when either gearing up for sleep or having just left its embrace. As I sing in my mind and quietly hum the chorus, I take a moment to feel. To really feel. The fabric of the sheets resting against my toes, the weight of the blanket up around my shoulders. The dance of my hair caught in the breeze, as it's cool magic soothes me to my core. My gentle breathing and the vibration in my chest from humming that old tune. I can see the dappled sunlight in waves across the tapestry on my ceiling above the bed. I feel the softness of my pillows, which I like to surround myself with, cradling every curve of my body. Everything is silent but the fan, and my mind. I am thinking of a quote, from Byron, "I love not man the less, but nature more." This comes with a realization that man would chastise me for lazing about on such a beautiful day, yet nature understands. Many creatures rest as needed, ungoverned by clocks and time. I should be busy and productive, how dare I, as some say, "waste the day"? I will tell you why I dare.
Because nothing that feels this amazing, could ever in good conscience, be considered a waste. Chances are, I am feeling more, am more aware of myself and my surroundings and my gratitude, because I am at rest. Perhaps you are racing around from one appointment to the other or maybe you have your head in your hands wondering why you keep showing up to work for that company you so utterly loathe. It's possible you are in fact longing for your own blessed moment, just like this one, the one I am experiencing and enjoying. With a crooked smile it dawns on me. I'm doing anything but "wasting the day". Yes, I could in some shocking and tragic turn of events die before the sun rises again, but I am here, now, no regrets. Living. Not by the standards of this busy world, but by my own. I'm here, in the moment, ensconced in tactile pleasures and filled with song and thought. Waste the day, ha! Let us not judge each other's ways, let us just appreciate contentment in whatever form it comes. Be guided by what's within you. At any and every moment possible.
Waste the day when you get the chance, because it feels so damn good and the only thing you've lost is time, the exact same thing you've sacrificed while wishing you could rest. Time is being lost each moment...but is it truly lost if you happen to find yourself in the stillness as it passes?