How to cope with negative and toxic people
I’m not a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but from my own experiences as a psychic reader and blogger, I can tell you that we have all encountered negative people. Negative people who for a variety of reasons are unhappy, frustrated, angry, sad, lonely, lost, confused, insecure, depressed or anxious feel the need to be negative. Perhaps this is due to a number of factors – such as fears about finances, not getting that promotion, being rejected from a potential love interest, worried about their health issues, or even concerned with their own persona, their own ego - how other people will view them. Now, don’t get me wrong – I am in no way shaming negative or toxic people. Life for all of us is often a struggle; there’s always going to be ups and downs. But the importance lies in how you handle your thoughts, words and actions. Some people who are negative feel the need to come from a place of entitlement – they feel the need to belittle or make fun of other people. At the same time however, they want to feel validated and congratulated for their success in the world – for all their accomplishments; whatever they may be - their career, relationships or how much money they earn. Negative people also feel the need to blame others for their troubles, their mistakes and not take responsibility for their own actions. “It’s not my fault….it’s your fault”. They won’t take or even acknowledge any accountability. It’s always someone else’s problem or issue.
There's a difference between in a moment of anguish, anger or sadness, where we say the wrong thing or act in a way that is disrespectful and rude. We usually have regrets about our behaviour, and we can look back and think: “I shouldn’t have done that". However, it’s another thing to know exactly what you are doing – and continuing to treat people with negativity. Is it narcissism or self-centredness? It can be both. And, to be fair, there are people with mental health issues who are coping the best they can. I pray and hope that they are getting the support and medical treatment that they need. So, how can you cope with negative or toxic people? Read on.
SPEAK YOUR ASSERTIVE TRUTH
Okay, I’m sure you have heard the term, “Speak your truth” from many inspirational and spiritual people– this is important! You can stand up for yourself. But, my suggestion is to do this in an assertive way. You can still express your opinions, needs or ideas clearly and confidently, but I would not swear, get aggressive or be rude to an individual who is being negative or toxic towards you. Be calm, but firm.
SET BOUNDARIES This again touches on “Speaking your Assertive Truth.” If a negative or toxic person is giving you a difficult time, it is important to set boundaries. In many workplaces and occupations (not just in the spiritual community), you may come across people who are not just negative or toxic, but clingy, needy, draining or manipulative. While you would like to help people, you also want to protect and nurture your own personal energy, as well as your time. In the law of attraction, there needs to be a balance; whether it’s time, money or other resources. If people aren’t going to be respectful or courteous of your time and/or money (payment for products or services), you have every right to say no.
ENERGY CLEARING & PROTECTION On a spiritual level, you can also protect yourself from negative energy in many different ways. You can do a chakra (meaning “wheels” in Sanskrit) clearing meditation while calling upon beloved Archangel Michael to clear away any form of negativity or toxic energies that you may have absorbed throughout the day from other people. Archangel Raphael - who is the Angel of Healing - can also bring healing between your mind, body and soul. There is no right or wrong way to pray to the Angels – the key is intention. You can also use a sage stick for ‘smudging’ away any negativity or toxic energies The key with smudging is once again, intention. You can smudge yourself, your home, and your items – pretty much anything you would like. Sage has been used by Native Americans for centuries and has natural healing properties – it is antibacterial, improves mental focus, it helps you relax, and improves your mood. Since the origins of crystals have come from the salts of the earth, they help in a variety of ways with physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being. The few crystals I suggest that help protect you from any form of negativity come in a variety of colours, shapes, sizes - Black Obsidian, Black Tourmaline, and Shungite.
KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY As much as you may want to help other people, or perhaps it may be hard to avoid negative people if they are your family members or friends; it is important to remember that you are valued and loved. You deserve better if anyone displays their true colours through aggressive, rude, or bullying behaviour. Sometimes, the only compassionate thing you can do for yourself (and for the other person involved) is to walk away. It is not selfish at all on your part, because you are looking after yourself – your own needs and energy. You aren’t responsible for these negative or toxic people. You can’t change them. You are only responsible for your own thoughts, words and actions. As the old saying goes: “You can’t change people, unless they are willing to change themselves”.
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