Tides of Change
How are you with change? Do you fight it with everything you’ve got, happy to sit in your comfort zone or do you grab hold of every new opportunity with confidence, joy and excitement in your heart, at where this next adventure will take you?
At fifty-one years of age, I have to sadly admit that I personally do not deal with change well; something I believe has a tendency to get worse as you get older and you get more set in your ways. I honestly believe I am this way due to too much self-doubt and a lack of self-confidence, but I recently experienced one of the biggest challenges in my life, that most people do quite often and think nothing of, and it has enabled my soul to grow exponentially, not to mention, has given me a whole new sense of self-confidence and a feeling I can conquer all.
Before I go any further, I have to say that as much as I dislike change, I’d often hear myself saying to other people, “When you change nothing, nothing changes!” Well, the Universe was giving me a good kick in the rear, motioning me to practice what I preach. I think the Universe has a tendency to do this with all people. It has an innate ability to know what your soul needs for growth during this lifetime experience, and so even if you choose to sit in your comfort zone (even if you are as unhappy, as I was), it knows what you need and deserve in this lifetime and has a tendency to take the choice out of your hands.
Now I know most of you will laugh at this, but my big challenge that the Universe presented to me, was that I had to move house. I know, right? People do this kind of thing every day. Well I can’t tell you how much fear and anxiety this initially raised in me. I’d been sitting in my comfort zone for so bloody long that I’d become part of the furniture. I had it good, my parents lived literally around the corner from me, so I could be there for them should they need me, we had a beautiful property with a big yard, and the beach close by.
I am a single mother of a fourteen year old beautiful daughter, we had lived in my sisters property all of my daughters life. In fact, I first come to be in my sisters’ property when she and her partner were going on a twelve month working holiday around the world and she needed someone to look after the property, her dog, plants, belongings, etc. I had just come back from Newcastle after separating from my daughters’ father and desperately needed somewhere to live, so it was in divine timing that this all unfolded. My daughter was yet to be born. I was aged thirty-six at the time.
The way the next chain of events worked out is kind of bizarre, but soon after they left, I fell pregnant when my daughter's father followed me back to the coast. My sister missed my whole pregnancy and came back when I had a newborn at just six weeks old. She was devastated she’d missed it all, and I quite frankly missed her support, but they say everything happens for a reason. Due to me having a newborn, my sister felt she couldn’t ask me to leave, so here I was going on fifteen years later and I was still in her property; the only property my daughter had ever known. I had loved living there for a really long time, but things definitely needed to change. In all honesty I should have left there some years ago.
After a period of me living in the house for three years, my sister built on a one bedroom studio apartment (initially for herself) to live in, when my daughter was around 2.5 and this worked quite well, but when she and her partner bought another property twelve months later and went to live in that, my sister then decided to rent out the studio apartment separately. For the past twelve years I have had to deal with living in a fish bowl, so to speak. There is a large (shared) deck dividing the house and the studio apartment and at times, I haven’t had the best of tenants to live alongside of. My privacy was stripped from me and in fact more often than not, I’ve had to live alongside some people who were quite toxic and difficult to deal with. People who would not respect my privacy, nor my boundaries. Suffice to say, I hadn’t been happy there for a really long time but because I feared change, I continued to sit in my comfort zone feeling sorry for myself.
I felt trapped, I wasn’t happy but I didn’t know how to change it. The prospect of moving house for the first time in a long time was daunting to say the least, not to mention it would be the first time I’d ever done it on my own (with my daughter of course). I felt overwhelmed with what was in front of me and not knowing how it was all going to unfold.
Working for a real estate, I had a very real view of just how hard it was for people to find properties to rent. I was up against people who were that desperate they were offering up to six months paid rent in advance, something I simply could not compete with. My mind went into overdrive as I’d played out every pathway in my head. I think in all honesty my sister wanted me to leave because she could see that I simply had not been happy for a really long time. In actual fact and in all honesty, now that I’ve come out the other side, I am actually grateful to her for presenting me with this challenge as without her, I would not have shifted from my comfort zone and God only knows how much longer I’d have lived miserably. I think after nearly fifteen long years, my sister certainly deserved the right to have her property back and do with it as she pleased. It was all meant to be.
Something shifted within me during this major transition in my life. I decided that this was all unfolding for my best and highest good. I know I deserved better, as did my daughter and I was going after it. I was going to come through this challenge with gusto and be so bloody proud of myself for doing it all on my own, and I just had an inner knowing that I was going to be alright, I would be looked after so to speak. My angels had my back.
For the next few weeks I just held my faith and kept positive. My sister wasn’t enforcing any pressure time wise for me to move, so I certainly had that on my side, so I just prayed and manifested all that I wanted in a new property, believing I was going to receive all that I deserved and my angels would guide it to me, all in divine timing.
Magical things happens when you can just learn to let go. When you can learn to confront your fears, and trust that all will turn out for your highest and best good, it is remarkable how things all unfold the way they are supposed to. My fear turned to excitement for a new start and a happy future. No longer was I going to live in a fish bowl whereby someone could see straight into my living areas and know at any time of day what I was doing and when. No longer would I need to contend with noise, violence at my door step, abuse from toxic people who thrived on drama, or deal with energy vampires who just wanted to take all my goodness from me, leaving me an empty shell. I’d really had enough for the past three years prior to me moving. It was certainly time for me to live free and be me.
So I simply decided there was no point in worrying about what I couldn’t control. I needed to pull up my big girl panties and get my life in order. When the Universe sees that you are making an effort and taking steps to push through your fears and embrace change, it is really very surprising how much you are rewarded. So, I did the best thing I could have done, and well I just simply started to pack up the house, long before I’d even found a property. I decided it was inevitable that it was going to occur. I had no idea when but knew regardless, the house needed to be packed up and the more I could do now, the more I would be prepared when I found the right property.
In less than one month, a new property was guided to me. Through the power of prayer and manifestation and knowing what I deserved and trusting in the process, you really can make anything happen.
My daughter and I had viewed three properties that were not suitable at all for us. I had typed up a list of all the things I wanted in my next property and am very happy to report that the property that was guided to us, ticked every single box. But, I still had to be approved for the property. Again, I just trusted.
I was so organised by the time it all came about, it actually was the easiest move ever. I can’t put into words how happy my daughter and I are. This property is everything I’d ever dreamed about. I was actually approved for the very first property I’d put an application in on, and that is almost unheard of on the Sunshine Coast at the moment. I was also approved straight up for a twelve month lease too, yet another bonus. I felt blessed to say the least.
When you believe, you can achieve! Now that I have done this, gone through the emotions of fear and anxiety attached to change (instilled in me by past behaviours) and now come out the other side, I feel like I could do almost anything.
I feel so free, so elated and so happy but most of all, I am so bloody proud of myself for all that I’ve accomplished and I know that when I’m presented with my next challenge in life, I will remember this and have the confidence to push through, believing in myself that I can do anything I set my mind to.